When I meet people infrequently, whether its family, friends, or family friends, there are a few stock conversation starters.

How are you doing? What are you up to now? What is next?

Once those socially acceptable, non-prying, safe questions are answered, and the ice that had formed from whenever we last saw each other has been broken, most people tend to feel comfortable enough to ask about...my personal life.

While these conversations about my "love" life have always been present with my closest confidantes, in this past year, I have been asked about my romantic prospects in a greater frequency than I have ever experienced before.

Someone even asked me, "Are you going to get married before we die?"

While that is quite morbid, I understand their impatience.

At the same time, I must admit I am not actively trying to meet their expectations (sorry).

There are multiple people I know who are my age from my school-years and even college who have gotten engaged in the past year and/or said yes to the dress just in time to have a summer wedding post-graduation.

Props to them.

I admire them and if I am being completely honest their actions also scare me. Probably because social conditioning has led me to believe certain ages are more suitable for certain steps in life. I definitely had the thought scrolling through Instagram: didn't we turn 20 two days ago (read: two years)?

I closely know people who are in relationships from a few months to a few years. Some will be in a long-distance relationship for the foreseeable future. Some will be making their next move together. Others are staying in the same city, but have decided not to live together until they are both working and have graduated.

In my casual chats about relationships and marriage with friends and family, I quickly realized that marriage is not the only future being considered.

Cohabitation.

Long engagements with marriage in the (very) distant future.

Marriage, but only with a prenup.

So we're all on the same page here are the definitions I used to distinguish:

Cohabitation: A living arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship that resembles a marriage.

Engagement: the state of being engaged (pledged to be married : betrothed)

Prenuptial agreement: an agreement made between two people before marrying that establishes rights to property and support in the event of divorce or death

These types of conversations were already happening before the pandemic, but I do think the lockdowns catalyzed us to further evaluate the concept of the nuclear family and explore other forms of relationships that could achieve the same goals.

From the Atlantic and the Nation to the Washington Post and the New York Times, the early pandemic days saw numerous publications surrounding the nuclear family.

Here are some of the headlines:

The Atlantic (13-Feb-2020) By: Joe Pinsker

If the Nuclear Family Has Failed, What Comes Next?

The New York Times (30-March-2020)

Opinion | The Nuclear Family Is No Longer the Norm. Good.

The Nation (24-Feb-2020) By: Nicole Sussner Rodgers

What Comes After the Nuclear Family?

The Washington Post (16-Feb-2020) Opinion|An unlikely cause of our bitterness:The nuclear family

Full disclosure: I come from a nuclear family. Two parents. Two kids. Classic (no longer...?). Tried and tested: a million times over. Success rates: varying.

My parents also both grew up in nuclear families and their union is an arranged marriage. Despite that, my parents are progressive. They have straight up told me: marriage is not for everyone and we will not set you up in an arranged marriage like ourselves (even though they are happily married).

A close family friend also brought up a fantastic point: the older we get to find someone we want a serious committed relationship with, regardless of its form, we became more jaded. We become choosy. Our expectations rise. Since we rely so heavily on our previous experiences to inform our next relationship, sometimes our practicality can become a curse that does not even let our new relationship bloom.

So, what about me? Well...I have some thoughts. Since I can't simultaneously cohabitate, have a long engagement, and get married with a prenup, I will wait and watch my friends' trial and error and make a decision accordingly. I'm kidding. Unless...I get my own multiverse. Eventually, I might need to decide one way or another, but not right at this moment. While I do not think one path is better than the other, I do hope that everyone can live in a way they feel most comfortable.

The next time I see you I will probably keep answering (dodging?) questions about my future with a smile on my face so bear with me :) I still love all of you (I promise!) <3 Thanks for reading!

The Summer is (almost) Over/Wow, I'm (almost) feeling 22 Playlist:

1. Vienna- Billy Joel (Album: The Stranger)