Not all those who wander are lost

I'm at a crossroads. I just don't know which way to go anymore. Since I was little, its always been clear that education is what matters. Education will give you social respect, security, and happiness. Without education, where will you be? Where will you go? I've heard two things constantly throughout my life. Succeeding at school will lead to a good college which will lead to a better life. Cause and effect goals. The second thing I've heard is-education is not for everybody. Now what that means is, that some people aren't meant to succeed in what is considered the "core" subjects, but rather succeed in sports or the apparently out-of-reach, never-gonna-happen, arts. 

Its becoming clearer to me that these choices about my future-the rest of my life-make it or break it-yeah those thoughtless ones are starting to arrive and I'm dreading it because I don't know if I want to go to college. Then I ask myself, if I don't want to go why do I try so hard at school? I guess like everybody in high school I'm trying to keep my options open. I've always wondered about a gap year. Yes, that classic backpacking through Europe trip has crossed mind more than once. More times than  I would like to admit. I just feel like I wouldn't be good at anything. 

Honestly, I just want to travel and learn about this world. I want to eat new foods and sit in strangers houses. I want to talk to them and dress like them and see their lives. I want to be a good person. I want to help. I want to be remembered. I want to be proud of my life. I don't want regrets. I don't want to go completely off the deep end either. I want to be happy. I just don't think I can settle. When good things happen to me, I don't throw them away, but I just live them down like it doesn't matter. Because truly, who am I in this world? I'm nobody. 

And in the end, doesn't everybody want to be somebody?

Clear Eyes-Full Hearts-Can't Lose

Lately, I've been wondering what happened to Adele. One of my friends told me she got nodes and she couldn't sing anymore and I thought that sounded like bullshit so I searched her up on the ever reliable Wikipedia. Apparently, she's on a hiatus and her next album should be coming out soon. So ladies and gentlemen, get ready for some heartbreaking music. Also I started watching Friday Night Lights-the show. I haven't watched the movie or read the book yet, but I plan to if its as amazing as this show. 

First off, I've never understood football. To me, football has always been soccer and I have never understood the obsession of football with the USA. What's so great about watching a game getting stopped every couple of seconds or minutes where guys crash into each other? Why was there so much angst over it? Why were people going gaga over this game-recording game tapes, screaming with intense passion, and treating the Superbowl like an unscheduled holiday? I didn't understand and I never tried too, until now. 

If I was Buddha, then watching FNL was meditation, and the story was enlightenment. I've reached my football Nirvana folks. Yet, I still don't understand how the plays exactly work or what a fullback is supposed to do. Here's what I do know, football is more than a game, just like any sport. There's so much riding on it though. It surprised me how much people care about it, but more than that how much people can rely on it. The town of Dillon is defined by football. Without football, Dillon, Texas wouldn't be Dillon, Texas and Tim Riggins wouldn't be saying,"Texas forever." 

In the end, what it boils down to is heart. How much of yourself are you willing to bet? I've always sort of thought of Buddy Garrity as annoying, but over time I've realized that football and him are a married couple. He loves it just like Coach and the players and almost the entire town. If they lose a game, it's heartbreak. It kills them inside. Football is the one thing that is going for these small-town people. I know that no matter how impoverished you are, a game can be life-changing. The simple clarity you gleam while playing is indescribable. The happiness fills you like a balloon and you rise above everything else. From up there, it's a different world so why wouldn't you play?

Hometown Glory-Adele 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW9Fzwuf43c

Friday Night Lights Emmy Awards Trailer(*semi-spoiler alert*)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG37AylK1_s

Shake It Out

Immortality. Living forever sounds boring, but maybe living longer is what we're really after. How many of you have ever felt stressed out? Oh yeah. I know all of you just said yes. Stress is normal, but here's the pudding of it all-stress is good in small doses just like guacamole and the top 40 radio. If you're constantly ready for fight or flight then the stress, my friend, has divided and conquered into your mind. Most of the time stress is because you've piled so many things onto yourself and while trying to be Superman you end up forgetting or losing something or the other. 

For some people, once they realize they can't do it all they give up completely. They go from climbing Mt. Everest to drinking pina coladas in the Bahamas. They're living life "bindaas" or free. Not a single worry in he world. Who needs stress? I sure as hell don't, But by completely forgetting your path there really is nothing left to do. Let go of excess, but don't live life as a recess and remember sometimes "if you're going through hell" all you need to do is "keep going."